Today, as I have for the last 18, 879 days, I woke up black. I know you’re wondering what that even means. It means that I woke up with some questions. Will today be the day that black people are treated equally? Will today be the day that we can stop proving our value? Will today be the day we can stop trying to prove we deserve to be here. Will there be justice today?
Dear Breonna Taylor, you already knew the answer to those questions. You knew it before the bullet left the chamber. You knew it before you heard the chaos, and you knew it when there was nothing left for you but silence. Yesterday, it was confirmed once again for all black people. I know you wanted to make your mark on this earth with your smarts, determination, and tenacity. I don’t need to have ever spoken to you to know you didn’t want to wake America up like this.
I woke up tired of this foolishness that asserts that a person’s circumstances determine their worth. Would you say that a girl dating a drug dealer deserves to die? Do you honestly believe that a person with a criminal record forfeits the right to live. Are addicts just junkies to you who should die by the needle? I am not stating any of these things apply to Breonna. I’m just black, and trying to wade through the onslaught of garbage that I am expected to digest daily.
I woke up angry that another mother has to endure the reality that her beautiful child has been ripped from her arms. I’m angry that “hashtag” has become a moniker attached to the name she whispered for the first time in the delivery room. I’m angry that people can look into the eyes of her baby girl and not see the worth within her. I’m angry that property serves a greater purpose than people.
I woke up ready. Ready to speak my peace regardless of the lack of understanding I encounter daily. Ready to be black just like I have been for the last 18, 879 days. I’m ready to see a change. I’m ready for the upgrade of my worth. Oh yeah, I already know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I already know that God created me in his image just as he did the officer who verbally bashed and insulted me. I already know that what I see in the mirror comes from royalty. I already know that the country I live in was built on the backs of my ancestors and the sweat from their brows nourished this beautiful land. A white man’s value increased based how many slaves he owned. So I guess, we were the upgrade. We upgraded their fields, homes, and even their children.
I woke up strong. I am everything that threatens to shake up the atmosphere. I am calling a spade a spade! I am loving my blackness. I am raising my children to know their worth. I am using every opportunity to sow love and not hate. I am pushing those around me to reach their greatest potential. I am speaking life into ones who are ready to give up. I am nursing the wounds of the battered with the balm of God’s promises.
I woke up tired, angry, and ready. I woke up strong and confident. hopeful. Surprised? Don’t be. I refuse to live in this status quo. I refuse to acquiesce to the politics of ignorance. I serve the only wise God! He is bigger than racism. Bigger than systemic injustice. He is not done with this world. He does not require a grand jury nor does he need permission to value his creation.
God made me. God got me. And He’s got the whole world in his hand!
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14
Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 1John 4:4
Strengthen. Heal. Empower.
Photography by Keith Radebaugh keithr.smugmug.com
