A note, text, or call goes a long way. It says “I’m thinking of you” “You’re doing a great job” “My world is better because you are here”.
Validation – the recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.
In recent years validation has been given a bad rep. We have somehow convinced ourselves that the desire for validation is in direct opposition of self-love. If a person wants to feel accepted, then we assume that she has low self-esteem. While I know that a primary goal of validation can be unhealthy, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with wanting to feel worthwhile.
From infancy, children are taught to desire validation from their parents. When a baby learns to communicate, parents coo approvingly. This lets the baby know that what he is doing is acceptable and encouraged. When a toddler screams in defiance, he is quickly met with disapproval. The parent that was once smiling, now has a scowl accompanied by grunts of disappointment.
When it’s all said and done, everyone wants to feel like they matter. Yes, even the people who say they don’t care what you think of them. Maybe they don’t care what you think, but there’s someone out there whose opinion they value. Whether it’s lending our gifts or sharing our time, we all want to know that what we give is appreciated. And it’s okay!
You can’t allow likes or tweets on social media to gauge your worth. You have to focus on the circle that feeds your soul. Family, parents, siblings, and friends who encourage you daily to keep going and to keep chasing your dreams. They matter. Hold them close and love them fiercely. They are the ones who know the real struggles you face, the flaws you can’t hide, and the pain you pretend doesn’t hurt anymore. They may give you the hard truths, but they also wipe away your tears. They pray for you without you even knowing or asking. Sometimes you think they don’t understand you at all and it makes you mad. Still, when you look in their eyes, you see nothing but love.
Don’t be so hard on those around you who want to be validated. They are simply saying that you matter to them and they want to matter to you. Is that so wrong? I don’t think so. Be kind and let someone know that their contribution to your world is priceless. Spare a little validation.
Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another. Romans 12:10
