I’ve been told that I can be kind of closed off or unfeeling, but the truth is, I’m very in touch with my emotions. I feel things much deeper than I allow others to see. In fact, though at times my heart may be shattered, I can function almost normally. I’m not talking about hiding or lying about how I feel. Simply, I have learned that I don’t have to be ruled by feelings.
As with every new year, many make resolutions to improve their lives. I saw a post asking what word describes your 2019. I spent a few days asking myself that question before I realized that I already live by a particular word. Intentional. I have set many goals for myself, especially in the last 10 years. Some were pretty major while others were tiny steps. Along the way, I have attempted to live intentionally.
For me, being intentional means to keep the goal in the forefront of my mind and to not allow my feelings to stop my progress. Sometimes I intentionally blew things or people off (surprise I struggle, too), but for the most part, I intended to progress positively. Recently, when I asked God to heal my devastated heart, he told to me ask forgiveness of the people who broke it. At this point in the conversation, I had a decision to make. Allow my feelings to keep me stuck, or act intentionally on what God told me. I’ve found out over the years that blessings are directly connected to obedience. If I want my heart to began to heal, I have to intentionally work toward healing. It doesn’t matter if I feel justified in my pain or if I think I’m innocent of wrongdoing. Regardless of how I feel, I must be intentional in my actions. It wasn’t easy to ask for forgiveness after what I’ve been through, but it was necessary. I did it.
Whether you’re seeking personal development or struggling with spiritual deliverance, you must be intentional in your actions. If you want to be debt-free, intentionally skip your favorite indulgence and put the money on your debt. If you want to stop a bad habit like being argumentative, you must purpose in your heart to do so. That means when you get heated and those clever comebacks are swirling around in your throat, stop. Even if you’re right, stop. Think of your prayer for deliverance and be intentional with your words. Instead of saying, “you know how I am” or ” that’s just me”, stop. Again, I’m not saying to suppress your emotions. I’m merely suggesting that your growth is your responsibility.
Living intentionally is a form of self-care. It isn’t concerned with what people will think if you don’t fight back, or don’t indulge in material things. Living intentionally is only concerned with your progress. Your evolution. As you grow in your relationship with God, living intentionally means to trust him in spite of how you may be feeling. I cannot imagine that Jesus felt like forgiving those who crucified him. I’m so grateful that his devotion was more important than his emotion! His journey to the cross was intentional.
If you are struggling in any area of your life, pray. Acknowledge that you need help and invite God into your heart. After you pray, believe that you have what you have asked. Lastly, stop waiting for your heart and mind to always agree. Make a decision to live intentionally.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
Strengthen. Heal. Empower.
Photo Credit: Randall Chacon
